He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
