I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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