just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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