Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
