It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
