Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
