Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
