take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
