it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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