that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
