you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
