How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
