Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
