Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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