I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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