yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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