So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
