I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
