Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
