dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
