is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
