wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
