He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
