I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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