this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
