you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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