I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
