I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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