Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
