I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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