My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
