I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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