i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
