i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
