i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
