4 words: hood of his car
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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