so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We left an ass print on the piano.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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