I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
