It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
