I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
