And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
