She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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