just tell him i said nine months
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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