I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
