butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
