I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
