maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're a waste of cheezeits
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
