He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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