yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
