You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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