i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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