it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
