im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
