I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
