operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
